woodbury sucks redux
Well, I'm not going to be on TV after all. My super-secret identity is preserved. Here is why: friggin' Woodbury has no coffee shops with free wi-fi, and since the story is about my blog, I do not get to be on TV if my blog cannot also be on TV. And I'm not about to invite any reporters into my office, no offense to Rick. Now, we all know Woodbury is one of the most soulless of the soulless suburbs, where Chili's is the fanciest restaurant and Chipotle is the most ethnic. Within two miles of my office there are two Caribous and three Starbucks. Starbucks charges for wi-fi and won't let us in, and Caribou does not have wi-fi. There are no other coffee shops. So now, as well as sucking my soul from my body, Woodbury has ruined my chances for fame and fortune.
BUT, the show will go on, and there will be other local bloggers featured (Smithers, I see what you're up to, ripping off my idea of prominently displaying Banjo Brothers stuff at the top of your blog), so everybody watch the 6:00 news tonight. And then go buy a Banjo Brothers bag, they rock.
8 Comments:
clarification: the story is not about my blog, it is about how BB uses bloggers to advertise. But my blog is what was going to get me on TV. There will never be any stories that are just about my blog, no matter how cool I am.
There's lots of hotspots in Woodbury! Barnes & Noble, Keys' Cafe, Kinko's, Panera.
http://intel.jiwire.com/browse-hotspot-united-states-us-minnesota-mn-woodbury-63836.htm
Ha, yeah, I suppose if I want to go all the way back that way there's plenty, but none of those are by my office, and it wasn't my problem to find a place, it was the TV people's, and they didn't find that list. Whatever, my secret superhero identity is no longer threatened.
Ok, I'm the evil TV reporter who wouldn't put ladyvelo on. Trouble is, getting inside a Starbucks or a B&N requires going all the way up the ladder to corporate. Wish I'd known about Keys. Oh well.
And yes, I have a blog too. It's just not as cool as yours.
It's okay, Smithers did a better job anyway, but don't let it go to his head. I see my blog did make it on as a half-second clip of the comments section of the post before this one, "banjo brothers is the coolest." Or "are the coolest," whatever I put. I forget now. So that was my moment of fame. The story was good though. I got home just in time, what with this blizzard slowing down traffic and all.
Talk about the camera putting on a few pounds...I looked like Fat Bastard...
Hey now, my sis lives in Woodbury, so I should take offense...but, well...er...you're right afterall.
Of course, it could be worse... what if the hills and dales of Afton weren't a quick pedal stroke away? Or Stillwater, for that matter? Worse still, you could be a couple hundred miles south in Io...no wait, that's me!! Argh!
That's true, and I have occasionally brought the bike to work and hit the Afton hills right afterward, but we're not talking about Afton. Woodbury itself sucks.
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