yes, i ride the short bus.

Race Report: Ken Woods Memorial Road Race

Today was the soggiest, windiest, nastiest colder-than-a-witch's-tit hellhole of a day anyone could have asked for. And I hope nobody did ask for it, because if I find out who it was, I will kick their ass. That sucked. When I peeled off my clothes afterward I squeezed about a gallon of water out of them. But despite the meteorological nastiness, 38 women showed up for the cat 4 race. Thirty-eight! That is absolutely a new record. I did not know there were that many women in the entire metro area that rode bikes. Hopefully it'll stay that way, because how cool is that?

My race, however, was not cool. Not at all what I had hoped it would be. I made the stupid stupid rookie mistake of lining up near the back, and what with the crazy sketchiness of the other women that were near the back, by the time I finally made it out of the parking lot alive (seriously, ladies, learn a few pack riding skills before jumping into a race... I'm glad you're enthusiastic, but please?) I was at the very back of the group. Then I made the stupid stupid rookie mistake--and this one was extra retarded, jeez, I still can't believe I did this--of just sitting there, even though I knew it would string out as soon as we went around the corner, but in the past it hasn't been that hard for me to get back to where I want to be even as people drop off, so I didn't make much effort to get to the front.

Stupid, stupid, stupid. When we did go around the corner it didn't string out, it exploded. Suddenly there were 50 foot gaps everywhere. I had to put everything I had into leapfrogging group to group, half of which was solo bridges into the wind, the other half of which was dodging slower people who were obviously not expecting anyone to go whizzing by them at twice their speed. It was nuts, and I was burning matches I wouldn't have had to burn if I'd been smart in the first place and moved up before the corner.

So there I was, five miles in and still not on the lead group, but making excellent progress... and then one of my teammates crashed in front of me and went sliding across the road (she's ok, she got up and finished the race), and I lost my momentum. I never did get on that lead group. I passed all the other groups, but then I was alone in the wind and as hard as I was trying to get up there, the group was busy chasing down a solo break so they weren't exactly lollygagging either. I was cooked. Fortunately, Alix pulled up behind me at that moment and we started working together to catch them.

We didn't get them while they were still a group, but eventually we picked up Penelope (formerly known as Bella P... I warned you, P, and you didn't object!), who had been shelled off the lead group, and then Sarah and one of my former GP teammates, and at this point we were so pleased to get a chance to rest that we just let the leaders go. Another stupid mistake -- after we caught our breath we should have attacked and gotten rid of the other three and gone after the next few, but we didn't. We stayed in our little group of five until the main hill at the end (we only had one lap).

I thought we were all going up the hill in a group, and we were going a pretty easy pace, but at some point I looked back from my spot on Penelope's wheel and the other three were gone. Penelope and I traded pulls the rest of the way up the hill, and when it seemed like a good time to sprint I took off, and Penelope didn't really put up much of a fight, so I rolled in alone in tenth. Which isn't bad, I guess, but it wasn't what I wanted, or what I would have gotten if I hadn't been a moron at the beginning. Live and learn though, eh?

Three of my teammates were up ahead, though, including Gilby, and they were seriously kicking ass. I heard later from the girl who came in 7th that those three totally controlled the race the entire time, and no break ever had a chance. This girl was shocked that Cat 4 women could be so organized! In fact, when I was hanging out during the afternoon races I talked to three other women who had been in the morning race, and when we were all introducing ourselves, I said I rode for Birchwood, and the three of them all let out a collective "Ohhh!" in this most impressed and awed tone. I warned you. The Blue Train is gonna be unstoppable.

Of course it had to be a Bella who took first, after all my trash-talkin'--Bella K, who I was in that chase group with last weekend at Durand, outsprinted my teammate Maria to take the yellow jersey in the MWCMR series, and yes, there was really a yellow jersey. But it ain't over yet, Bellas. We will be back. Next weekend, in fact, at the Avon Road Race, where we again have a separate cat 4 field, and hopefully I will be able to keep my retardation in check long enough to get on the front group this time. The suspense is killing you, I know it is.