and yet I watch every year anyway

So the Oscars were lame as usual. I only watched the first half, so I missed most of the big awards, but I did see the stupid, stupid song "It's Hard Out Here for a Pimp," and then I even saw the same stupid, stupid song actually win the category. And I saw Ben Stiller's green unitard. Thank God for that.

From the vantage point of my couch, Stiller's timing was impeccable. I was reading the City Pages while half-listening to the TV, and when they announced that Ben Stiller would be presenting the next one, I said to myself, "Well, self, there's no reason to look up now, since all the men wear the same thing anyway." But I looked up anyway. Let me just say again, THANK GOD. That was the stupidest thing I've seen in a long time, and unlike the pimp song, the unitard was stupid in a good way. It made me feel a little less bad about wasting my evening in front of the TV.

Unfortunately, all the other people out there seem to be taking this business a little too seriously. If you go to MSN's Oscars page and vote for what you think the highlight of this year's Oscars was, it turns out that Ben Stiller's green unitard is in LAST PLACE with a paltry 8% of the vote. Which is obviously a grave injustice. At the moment, tied for the lead with 31% each are Jon Stewart's wit (not in evidence while I was watching, sorry to say. I like the guy, but he was just out of his element here) and the mere fact that Brokeback Mountain didn't win. That is not a highlight, that is just a bunch of people jumping in perverse joy that the gay cowboys didn't win, because gays are bad, m'kay? Lame, lame, lame. So we need to take this back for what was obviously the real highlight of the show. Quick, everyone go to MSN and vote for the unitard. Help me out here.

Also, I looked at all 17 of People's "best dressed" photos, and the green unitard was totally shut out. It's wrong, I tell you. Flat-out wrong.


Blogger Tim Jackson- Masi Guy said...

It's a sad, sad day when green unitards are no longer held up as examples of high fashion.

I'll have to get mine out of the cleaners...

3/06/2006 6:24 PM  
Blogger annie said...

All right, so "Jon Stewart's wit" has pulled ahead of "Gays Are Bad, M'Kay" with 32% as opposed to 31. Ben Stiller's green unitard, however, is holding steady at 8%, even though I voted twice. Come on, people.

Tim, you jest, but there is not much difference between the green unitard and that skinsuit you're so proud of peeing in. Also, I have seen your skinsuit and it is blue, and pee is yellow, and you know what blue and yellow make.

3/06/2006 9:21 PM  
Anonymous Annie's brother said...

I don't know why I care about the Oscars at all. I'm still pissed that U2 lost to Eminem at the 2002 ceremony, then two years later, Touching the Void didn't even get nominated for Documentary Feature. I relived both of those disappointments yesterday evening. (Baby penguins are cute and all, but pulling off a level-headed documentary about Tim Treadwell is a stellar accomplishment. Again, not nominated.) As great as his fashion sense may be, Ben Stiller on the Oscar podium for any reason is a bit of a shock, but he did liven things up for a while. I'll go cast my vote.

Incidentally, Weta Workshop keeps getting technical awards. Their next project will be a big-screen adaptation of Halo. Yes, a movie based off a video game will probably get a lot of Oscars.

3/06/2006 9:39 PM  
Blogger Tim Jackson- Masi Guy said...

I even have a full-body skinsuit from when I was racing on my own, with my own sponsors. It was bad ass!

3/06/2006 10:36 PM  
Blogger annie said...

David, you are silly. There are scores of talentless presenters every year. That's why they're presenters, not winners. I mean, come on. Every single year Jennifer Lopez presents at least once, and do you think she'll ever get nominated?

And I saw Grizzly Man, and never in a million years would I give it an oscar. Sorry.

3/07/2006 8:32 AM  
Blogger Sascha said...

Oh Please! On the Treadwell Documentary. I'd never give it an Oscar either. As a matter of fact, I'd give their producer/editor failing marks for failing to edit and cut thoroughly. Never have I seen something that needed to be only 60 minutes.

3/07/2006 12:54 PM  
Blogger annie said...

Come on, guys, not enough of you are voting for the unitard. It has now DROPPED, to 7%. Seven measly percent! You can do better than that. Also, Jon Stewart now has only 28%, with Gays Are Bad, M'Kay climbing to 34%. This is a travesty.

3/07/2006 3:32 PM  

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